Friday, October 5, 2007

The DMV And Other Acronyms

If you have a green light, but traffic is blocking the intersection, you should:

Go bonkers and feed on the souls of infants.

The Department of Motor Vehicles is easily on the list of the more unpleasant locations I've been to during my time here. One good reason could be that the people working there basically hate humans, and for some reason it doesn't help when you're a foreigner. After having my passport scanned an uncomfortable number of times I was told that I in fact don't have a student visa. When in fact I do. Which brings us to multiple choice question number two.

You have just argued that you in fact do have a student visa - in response you are asked "Sir, are you telling me that I don't know how to do my job"? For which the correct response is-

No mam.
No mam.
Yo man.

Wow. For future reference. Keep mouth shut. Anyway! After an hour of tedious standing in line I was finally photographed and given a pamphlet no thicker than a bees' penis. This grail of conduct contained the well kept secrets of driving in California which apparently is different than anywhere else. Having been chauffeured around for a month and getting a feel of traffic I can tell you first hand that the these laws look a lot better on paper than when put to use. People ride like effing maniacs over here. Understatement much?

I returned a week later having read up on things and passed the test with flying colors. Thank you me. When bragging to Jonathan he simply stated "Congratulations, you are not retarded". So you can imagine, as multiple choice tests go, this was no Rubik's Cube. OR IMPOSSIBALL!!!!

I promised acronyms, didn't I? Then I will try to retell this entire post for those who speak the language. Here goes: LOL @ DMV. ASL VISA IMBA FFS MOB AGGRO. BRB EMO. OOC ASAP. OMFG MILF. WTB CAR FTW. LTW AA.
God I suck... some of that might have been 1337 speak. Now who's the geek?!

Well that's enough for now. Are people actually reading this blog? I hope you are as this is my only vent to the outside world. Until next time schmos! I love you all!

"Smell me said the man - and so they did".

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